1.) Man, it’s not a good week to be a celebrity, huh? Ed McMahon a couple of days ago, then Farrah Fawcett yesterday morning and then three hours later, the King of Pop Michael Jackson. Legends in their own respects, the three of them, all gone within days of each other. Sad. My condolences.

2.) I feel that regardless of whether or not you respected someone in life, you should respect them in death. That’s someone child, sibling, or other relation. That being said, I not only respected Michael Jackson in life as a musician and artist, but I’m deeply saddened to know he is no longer with us. Simply because you didn’t agree with his personal life does not give any of you the right to be glad that he’s passed nor does it give any of you the right to crack jokes at his expense. That is reprehensible, and please believe me when I say that Karma will pay you a visit for such a horrible thing.

…which brings me to…

3.) KARMA!!! I called it, didn’t I? I. CALLED. IT. It’s a rather unfortunate situation, yes, but still. I effing called it. See? God don’t like ugly.

Like seriously!

How disrespectful is it for someone to spend their entire day cleaning and organizing, and making your domicile presentable so it no longer looks as though you live in squalor…and then for someone else to come home, regard the fact that the house is clean by saying, “Place looks nice.” and then just completely destroy it?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF CLEANING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

This is a daily thing here. And it’s not just here, it’s been everywhere, with everyone. I could spend an entire day cleaning, and there’d be one person who didn’t think they’d have to clean up after themself and simply leave their useless shit lying around everywhere. OH, and God forbid someone putting their used glasses and dishes in the dishwasher rather than just tossing them in the sink!

It’s frustrating, irritating and disrespectful.

So, after taking the first step and emailing my mother yesterday morning, I finally managed to get some sleep!

And then some more good stuff came about.

Today, around 3pm, I got a call for an interview with a freight company for a billing clerk. It pays a bit more than my current job. ($8.50 is better than $7.50, right?) So I was set up for an interview there tomorrow at 9am.

But then I checked my email.

And there was an email from Geico, asking me to come in for an interview for either a Sales Rep or a Claims Rep. And they start at $13.25! That’s A LOT better than a measly $8.50! So I’m doing that interview in…two hours and 20 minutes. It’s currently 5:25 in the morning, and I have to be there for the 4-5 hour long interview and screening process at 7:45. Yeah.

And to top of the day, mom emailed me back and said that she’d cover the complete cost of my therapy as long as I go.

Baby steps in the right direction.

Finally :)

Wish me luck on that interview, kids!

So, here it is: 5:54 in the morning on April 22nd, and I’m still awake.

Yep.

What have I done?

Not a darn thing, really. Screw around on Facebook, mostly.

But I finally sucked it up and dealt with my pride and emailed my mother back and told her that I’m done being a stubborn idiot and am asking for help and that any would be greatly appreciated.

And then I mentioned the fact that our house in West Palm Beach was back on the market, less than 5 years after we put it up for sale. I found this out, just by Googling Victoria Woods (the development I lived in) and *boom* there it was: 5752 Rambler Rose Way. I took a gander at the listing, and was rather surprised to see it looking exactly the way it did when I last saw it in July 2004. Everything was in tact: The crown moulding my mother and I did ourselves, the tile flooring that my friend’s dad did for us, the dining room chandelier painted the way we painted it, the kitchen cabinets the same color we painted them (and GOD, that was a pain in the ass to do!) and the stove and the refrigerator the exact ones we had. The hallways and living room the same color my dad and I painted it (Noticing a pattern here? My mother was a freak about painting crap for no reason!) my parents bedroom the same color, even their bathroom with the stamps on the walls that my mother and I did…the bathroom in the hallway (mine, my brother and sister’s) with the same shower curtain and the cabinet with the same detail painted on it, my brother and sister’s room with the same vinyl flooring and colored walls, and my room…the picture of my room, taken from the doorway, facing the wall where my bed once stood, the walls still a baby blue color. The garage with all the shelving my dad and grandfathers installed. The house is even the same color my dad and I painted it.

It’s just surreal to see the house I grew up in in the exact same state I last saw it in.

*sighs*

Anyways, let’s see if anything comes to fruition from this recent attempt at reaching out.

(BTW: Anyone know if Steinbrenner or Girardi got my last couple of memos? Because if Wang is starting against the BlowSox on Friday, we’re screwed. ;) *LOL* Oh, and w00t to the Yankees being in second place, right ahead of the Sox! Here’s hoping some good will come out of this season!)

ATTN: Mr. George Steinbrenner
SUB: Chien-Ming Wang

GET. RID. OF. CHIEN-MING WANG.

NOW.

Sincerely,
Your loyal Yankees fans

ATTN: Mr. Joesph Girardi
SUB: Chien-Ming Wang

PUNCH CHIEN-MING WANG IN THE THROAT FOR ALLOWING 14 RUNS IN THE SECOND INNING OF THE GAME PLAYED AT YANKEE STADIUM ON APRIL 18TH, 2009.

Sincerely,
Extremely disgruntled Yankees fans

ATTN: Mr. Joesph Girardi
SUB: Addendum to “Chien-Ming Wang”

FIND A NEW STARTING PITCHER FOR THE UPCOMING RED SOX GAME AT FENWAY PARK, FRIDAY APRIL 24TH, 2009. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

frenemy - (also sometimes spelled “frienemy”) A blending of the two words “friend” and “enemy”, used to refer to an enemy disguised as a friend. While in most instances, the parties involved are aware of the frenemy-type relationship, while in some, only one party is aware. This type of relationship is often used to keep an eye on what the other is doing.

…which totally explains why my mother felt the need to stress how there’s someone who’s been informing her of my every supposed move. *shakes head* People who have nothing better to do than to waste their mundane lives pretending to be my friend only to report back to my mother like a 5 year old tattle tale really should be more concerned with getting themselves a life, no?

Just a general observation! ^_^

So, I’ve been slacking on the communication with my mother lately, basically trying to let everything she’s said sink in and giving myself a chance to really re-evaluate my life up to this point.

We’ve already established the fact that I need to seek help for my bipolar disorder.

But I’ve also had to step outside of myself and look around and see where I am, and what I’m doing with my life, and I’ve realized…I’ve done nothing.

I’ve realized that in order to get back on my feet and to get my life back in order, I need to swallow this stubborn pride of mine and ask for her help.

And it may fall nothing short of moving back home to do so.

I mean, yes, I’d probably end up going insane again.

But if I don’t let it get to me, if I really want to fix things with my family, re-establish a relationship with my daughter and the rest of my family, and reach the goal that I’ve longed to reach for so long…I may just have to do it.

I’ve been looking into different programs for hospitality management, a degree I could use in the industry that I’ve resigned myself to since I was 2.

And it’d allow me to build a stable life for myself, for my daughter, and for my family.

*sighs*

I think it’s time for me to buckle down, regain control of my life and grow up.