Every step I’m taking, every move I make feels lost with no direction, my faith is shaking…

Every day that passes seems more hopeless than the one before. I wake up, hoping and praying that something comes through, that my efforts weren’t once again all for naught, and yet, at the end of the day, I realize that once again I’ve come up empty handed. I keep praying to God every night, knowing that at some point, He’ll come through for me like he has in the past, but with each fruitless day that passes, it becomes more and more apparent to me that He’s only abandoned me, just as everyone else has. I feel as though He’s looking down upon me, saying, “Little girl, I’ve pulled you out of too many holes and I’m tired of dealing with it. This time, you’re on your own.”

I know this is all a part of life, falling down and getting yourself back up. But it seems to happen to me more than anyone else. Maybe because I’m stupid enough to let it. Or maybe because I fool myself into believing that everything is okay and fine and whatnot, not realizing that there are cracks in the foundation, therefore eventually causing a massive implosion. I keep settling for Band-Aids for a wound that keeps reopening, rather than sucking it up and getting the stitches to heal it completely.

Maybe it’s hightime I did just that. All I need is a needle and thread.