I’m not a girl, not yet a woman…

So, I’ve been slacking on the communication with my mother lately, basically trying to let everything she’s said sink in and giving myself a chance to really re-evaluate my life up to this point.

We’ve already established the fact that I need to seek help for my bipolar disorder.

But I’ve also had to step outside of myself and look around and see where I am, and what I’m doing with my life, and I’ve realized…I’ve done nothing.

I’ve realized that in order to get back on my feet and to get my life back in order, I need to swallow this stubborn pride of mine and ask for her help.

And it may fall nothing short of moving back home to do so.

I mean, yes, I’d probably end up going insane again.

But if I don’t let it get to me, if I really want to fix things with my family, re-establish a relationship with my daughter and the rest of my family, and reach the goal that I’ve longed to reach for so long…I may just have to do it.

I’ve been looking into different programs for hospitality management, a degree I could use in the industry that I’ve resigned myself to since I was 2.

And it’d allow me to build a stable life for myself, for my daughter, and for my family.

*sighs*

I think it’s time for me to buckle down, regain control of my life and grow up.